Someone once said that him & I have a “tough love relationship.” We get into all these fights, we try proving who’s wrong & who’s right. We tend to do revenge on eachother wether or not we know that’s what we do. I try my hardest to bite my tongue with him, i try so hard to not snap, to not say something so mean that could change our whole relationship. But he doesn’t do the same, matter of fact, he has no problem lying to me :/ I’d gradually find out information about whenever we’d get into “breaks” & it hurts more than anything i’ve ever felt. I can’t let go of him & that’s what hurts so much. I’m too weak to let go of a boy that hurts me whenever he can. He tells me he loves me, wants to marry me, all these lovey things but i can’t help but think that sometimes, they’re just words to him. I mean evrything i say i gaurentee that which is why i haven’t dropped him. But sometimes, i can’t figure out if his feelings are for real, or make-believe. I’m sorrry that i love you so much that i tend to think more than i should. I’m sorry that my mind wanders to the times you’ve huurt me so bad. I’m sorry that i’m not pretty enough for you, but then why are you with me? If you can’t handle me at those times then let go of me? I hate rollercoasters & it just so happens that my love life with him IS a huge on-going rollercoaster :l
:’( im tired of believing you over myself n gettin hurt in the end.
(Source: doesnteverybodywanttofallinlove)
hasn’t even been a day n i miss you. stop being irrational & lets go back to this </3
Hmm where to start. How bout Jonah, he’s my lover, bestfriend, my boyfriend that i love so much. The one that i can honestly say has made me smile like nobody else can, just as well as the tears that come out. That boy can make me cry like nobody else can. He’s my first love and i’m a naive girl to believe that we can last forever, even in between all the terrible fights we get into. But right now, im losing all of my friends for him, as of right now, he is my bestfriend. He’s making me choose between him or Maddy, & Maddy’s making me choose between her or Jonah. Why do i have to be in a position where i have to choose between the two people i love. One’s my bestfriend for 10 years, & one’s my boyfriend of 6 months. I should never ever be in the position to CHOOSE somebody. Never ever, the ones that love you should never want to see you in that position cus it kills. I can’t lose either. & as of now, Maddy’s probably not going to forgive me, & Jonah is ignoring me completely. They’re BOTH being immature as fuck, I’m sorry that i want to be with my boyfriend that i love?
